Friday, September 21, 2007
holiday mood
hey im back! =D how're you people?
btw people, thanks for reading. i appreciate it a lot. cheers (:
replies for the tag board!
nana: yah lo.. hahs my memory poor, this blog helps me remember things i do. cannot huh!! lala's blog smelly already.. you don go see ok! yea i miss you too! arrange when to go eat ok?
zee: thanks. hahs you don lie to me hor. if not... i'll touch your grandpapa's kuku.
karma: hahs. that's your belief, not mine.
guest: anyway, he's seeing someone else already. good luck to him. and who are you to comment. you know nothing, guest!
hello: (: who are you?
lala: yah you arrange with nana lah. cause i also dont know when both of you free! i also dont lyk u and ur boy boy kiss kiss okay. --------------------------------------Tuesday, 18 September
today was out with hq. he went for his dental and after his dental i went over to block 5 of SGH to visit his grandpa who's really ill. hope he recover soon. he said he wont. but still i hope his grandpa feel better somehow. when my grandpa passed away, my chinese teacher reminded me the pain my grandpa would go through if he was still alive. cos my grandpa suffered from cancer and was in a critical condition then. so yah..
#hq, no matter what happen to him, you gotta stay strong and be optimistic.#
and after that, we took a cab to town. we had mos burger @ plaza sing. after dinner shopped a bit and we walked to cineleisure. bought movie tickets for the invasion. it's all right lahs. hahs hmmm before movie we shopped around orchard. saw bebe stuff. very exp seh. i didnt enjoy myself that much today. but it's over. (:
Wednesday, 19 September
today watched rogue assassin with marcus at cineleisure. yep.. before that we had popcorn chicken and his cheeseburger for dinner. walk a bit and talk a lot. and after movie we had supper, somewhere. yea. didnt have much appetite. marcus thought i was affected by him. but i dont think so. cry over it all already so what's there for me hold on to. yea.. move on kristy.
after supper walked to plaza sing and sat down to chat about marcus's hospitalize incidents. hahs it's kinda cool. he's really dumb when he was small. silly arse. and dont forget your umbrella business. i had it all planned nicely and im sure you gonna earn a fortune! *shrugs*
Thursday, 20 September
today went to give warranty card to my boss. and watched noroi: the curse. fucking nice show. you people should go check it out man. yea and was with zee the entire day. we went for supper at chong pang nasi lemak. so long no eat there le. hahs yep and that's about it.
Friday, 21 September
i thought i was a princess. i thought i was the happiest girl in my family. but no more. he knows how to treat me the way he like already, also find so much things to argue back with me. i feel like dust now. one happy dirt.
he had decided to be who he wanna be. hahs. i dono to cry or laugh. but it will be over soon. yea, i believe it will. afterall he pleased me all the while. now he needs freedom, he wants to fly.. woooooo... dont fly too high man~ maybe someone can make him so much happier. he's confused himself. i feel it. anyway, good night people.
last week's pictures! 
❤ on the way to esplanade to study
❤ this is the jelly bean zee bought. hahs.
❤papayaQueen
KristyHadLeftASweetEntry@ 6:41:00 PM.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Monday, 17 September
today woke up at 5.30pm. saw marcus, hq, zee & blar blar blar messages. so i called marcus. he dont sound happy, i can feel it somehow! & when i rang him after my meal again, this time, i didnt sound good. hahs im sorry marcus. sometimes i sleep too much, i just feel annoyed. dont ask me why, i dont know either. (:
then the next half evening, am glued to the television programmes. that's about it.
why do human beings have feelings? it's amazing how humans react to something someone said that will actually affect you the whole entire day.
you always asked: "where are you?", "who are you with?", "what are you doing there?", "what time you going home?" or "who i talking to?", "why you prefer to talk to him than me?", "why cant you spend some time with me?", "why.." ... why why why.
you always looking out for me. & i thought you would do exactly the same without me having to ask! & yes, you disappoint me. when it's my turn to ask you similar questions, you too answered, "my friend." then i had difficulties trying to figure out what to reply or react. i was affected. i thought you wouldnt upset me with those things i did to you. & from there, i knew you were in my shoes. im just experiencing the pain you felt when i was out with other friends. if you cant handle that date with her, do not expect me to know how.
when you were over my place,
and your guy friend/s called,
guyfriend: "where you?"
you: "pasir ris."
guyfriend: "who you with? what for?"
you: "with kristy/her, at her place."
...
when your girl friend/s called
girlfriend: "where you?"
you: "at pasir ris."
girlfriend: "what for?"
you: "eating."
....
you didnt know i would take this to heart, did you? yes, i did. somehow my heart feels sour and i just had to pretend that you just merely told her that cause before she rang you i were having my lunch.
you were out with her and i only got to know about it when both of you were bout to go home. so why do you still wanna expect so much from me then? i didnt want you to have to purposely message me in the night to let me know you are awake & actually messaging her. i didnt need you to remind me how much you care for me by purposely always sending the wrong text to me which is by right for your friends. i knew all the while you care. i feel it ok. im no fool to actually think you dont bother me.
you did so much yet you destroyed it all. you convinced me that you will not do the exact thing i did to you. you told me you care about me, my feelings. & you do silly things to make me wanna question you, make me upset, make me jealous, trying so hard to get my attention. you win. you got my attention & not only that, im pissed.
when i questioned you over your date, you would go like, "im just going out with my colleague...i didnt cheat on you whatsoever...never lie to you...what about you going out with...you also never think of how i feel...for so long i first time go out with my colleague you say you...you're contradicting yourself...you say i dont believe you but when i say she's just my friend you also like that...i dont go out with them and wait for you to ask me out...you also go find your friends what...it's really up to you."
yea i did explain things to you the way you are doing to me now. i know i have no right to say good things about myself now. you did do comparison too. is it so hard for you to understand?
[i feel terrible full stop] - that's all i mean, nothing more nothing less. it's just my feelings that affected me, not you. you need not make it sound so serious at all.
and only now that i know he was out with her yesterday at east coast! wtf.
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*previous post*
Saturday, 8 September
was out with hq, watched Naraka 19 @ marina sq. it's a four stars rated film. and guess what? it's a waste of money to catch that show. shopped a bit and realize there's nothing for me to buy. wth..
Sunday, 9 September
a day out to town. shopped around and finally found things to buy. very broke. all thanks to my
boss, and i purchased some clothes online. hais. if you wish to donate some money, do let me know ok. hahs.
*previous post*
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more posts.
Thursday, 13 September
after exams already! rest the whole day i think. i forgot what did i do that day. hahs =D
Friday, 14 September
i went out for dinner with marcus at bedok 85. 3 dishes. full enough to make us complain. then went to the park nearby my place to do some catching up. hahs and on our way to my block, we saw a snail. i asked if it was alive, he replied yes. and we crouched down to take a better view of it. then we discussed about it's eyes which eyeballs can actually turn 360 degree. marcus dont believe me so we took a closer look.
then something brushed my left arm so i turned, and screamed. because we squatted there for sometime already, so the fascinated cat came over to take a look as well. my scream startled marcus and the cat. hahs he was like " WHAT THE ... "
the cat: "what's so interesting about the stupid snail?"
and after that the cat can still sit around licking its' paw.
eewwww! i hate cats to come near me! the incident still tickles me.
Saturday, 15 September
work from 5 to 9pm. and went home after that. hahs boring day.
Sunday, 16 September
station, a few decide where to go and not much shows to catch, so we took a train towards the East. we alighted at working too. from 12 to 9pm. sold 6 mp3s!! close to $900 sales. first time so happy with my performance. hahs at about 8pm, jack asked me to company him smoke. zee and her friend tagged along. then he kept pushing me to her. hahs wth.. but still not bad lahs. can relax a bit there. the weather was good, raining. first time sat outside with them and chat. fun though.
then after work zee, ken and i have dinner 2gether at sakae sushi. ken's treat! after that we coulnt think of a place to go.. not much shows either so we took a train towards East. at bugis station, some indians board the train. zee dont like their odor so we alighted at aljunied. and so we boarded the next train, guess what! another group of ah neh.. then we alighted and walked to the front and board the next. hahs
later we had starbucks coffee @ simei. and they're doing closing already. we walked towards the bus 12 bus stop which was a distance away, took 12 and alighted @ loyang. and took a cab to airport! hahs.. was nice sitting around there, cos the place's quiet and we browsed through singapore brochure. after which zee took a puff and we sat around the entrance playing with those "cookies". hahs lame.. we took a cab back after a drink. was about 4.30am by then. chatted a bit over the phone and zzz.
❤papayaQueen
KristyHadLeftASweetEntry@ 10:23:00 PM.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
many many pictures coming up (:
replies for the tag board!
♀
i-rene: hey girl! thanks for dropping by. im okay. don worry. (: thanks for your concern man. loves
WaN: yep. i have linked you! happy ma? LOL (: how's your maths test?
nana: hey darling! im always here man. just that seldom online nowadays. hahs can always text me ok! of course i miss you girls lahs! a lot.. you studied with lala also yah? never ask me also! fair and sq! (:
lala: rotten meh?! u smell or see any black black thingy? NO RIGHT? humph don laugh laugh hor. stupid mt. how's your hometown doing? hahs! =D misses
--------------------------------------
oops. sorry i forgot to wish you lala! give you a big head line ok? 19 yah? hahs! give you birthday kiss kaes. hahs *MUACKS!
Happy Birthday LALA!may whatever you wish for come true man!
happy bday to you
happy bday to you
happy bday to MT.................
happy bday to you!
you are the only one who gets to hear me sing you bday song ok!! .. cant hear anything uh? cos it sang from deep inside my heart. must dig ear then can hear. hahs.. *hugs*--------------------------------------
hey people. im back. hahs. lala! this site's not rotten ok! still smell nice and looks pretty. hahs. whatever. hmmm today have maths exam. it looks easy but i dont know if i can pass or not! wish me luck! (:
monday and tuesday was studying at harbour front starbucks with adam, bob and marcus.
monday
i met zee on monday. she wanted collect phone but not ready. so suay. anyway we took a cab down to chinatown to look for the anna sui pouch. i was told to go back next week or something ): sad lahs.
then i asked her to company me, find the pouch. we shopped ard chinatown in vain. then we headed down to vivocity lo. then saw candy empire! she bought me kit kat which cost like $3 lahs! & her jelly beans. then had dinner @ the asian something? i forgot. oops and i also forgot what's xiao long pao. i thought it was some kinda pao. hahs.
after dinner, toilet time! when i came out she was holding those bunch of candies in the plastic bags. i thought she buying for who sial! so actually it's for me. hahs. so sweet of her lahs. thanks zee! love you man! (:
so went on studying with those guys and that's abt it! oh yah, there are many mices everywhere those BUSHy plants outside the harbour front entrance lahs. wth! yucks.
tuesday
did some revision with zal too and that's abt it! and yah! only until today then i gotta know that century eggs are preserved with horses' pee!~ *vomits* so gross. those guys really pissed me off because i haven even touched my food! but im okay already lahs. hahs. sorry yah.
these few nights had heavy dinners because i didnt have proper meals so yah. im so like gonna grow bigger and BIGGER! i feel so FAT now! WTH.
saturday and sunday was out with hq. had fun and laughter. many stupid things we did and spent a lot of money too! yea. so long no shop le. thanks hq, for shopping with me. wahaha. =D
random photos
❤ the kitkat that cost 3 bucks!
❤ look like bouquet of flowers.
❤ when we opened up, there was only bones.
❤ im shorter than adam!!
❤ he's analyzing blue-blacks on my hand. hahs
❤ starbucks @ harbour front.
adam's overwhelmed by those jelly beans zee bought!
❤papayaQueen
KristyHadLeftASweetEntry@ 4:12:00 PM.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
exams are coming....
friday 31st Aug
i woke up at 7.30am and prepared for school. reached school at abt 9.50 and nelson told me teacher gonna chase us off at 10am sharp. wtf. waste my time only!!!! wth. was really angry. but after hitting marcus, okay already. really moody lahs. hahs then i saw mark! just for awhile! and i got angry with marcus lahs!!! so dumb dumb. never keep his words. we wanted to catch a show. 14o8.. but at 4pm. at that time was only lyk 11am! so we went mum mum and after that go starbucks. disturb zal. he's really funny. woooo.. got more tricks must ask him try le. hahs. at night actually meeting zee. but i went home took a nap and woke up late. then she decided to meet her friends instead so yah! that's abt it.
saturday 1st Sept
today i was woken up by a postman at 11am. didnt bother to get up. then saw nelson's message. chat a bit & went back to sleep. he wake up so early just to watch kids central! wth. next thing i know was already 4pm! what a day. prepared and met marcus at 8pm. went downtown to study and went off ard 10.30pm. on the way to meet zee, i saw mark again!! wth. he was really good looking lahs. hais. im crazy. i like his eyes a lot, that's why. hahs. and we chatted a bit at the pavement walkway near whitesands. at the same time we saw the mooon so helly big. wth. first time seeing a big moon. hahs. he said some thing really sweet lahs. & zee called and i had to leave. tooo bad. so me and zee went to tampines century sq. we watched evan almighty. then took a cab back! yea..
sunday 2nd Sept
boring sunday! nth much. good night everyone.❤papayaQueen
KristyHadLeftASweetEntry@ 11:01:00 PM.
2nd sept 2:58am
i feel so lost again!! so ... depressed. i don seems to know how to handle relationships any longer. i made problems worse. made ppl change impression of me. made myself feel so ... -indescribable- ! many times i tried so hard to control my temper and all. but i just cant when i hear ppl telling me how bad i treat em, how upsetting they are that i have done this and that. all i do is pushed blames to em; to him, her, anyone, everyone!
how much i wish i didnt have to go through so many relationships last time. how much i hate myself for being so insensitive, so not understanding, so selfish. many times i had to think abt what i did in the past, what guys did to me in the past, what i do and not deserve in the past... what i didnt have to go through in the past, what i shouldnt even do in the past. it's all over. i made things bad, worse and even worsen em sometimes and made myself a fool to outsiders. i hate myself. hate myself for being nice to them. hate myself for doing so much in the past. the then me, not doing much. just hate myself for being me NOW!
i knew all along i will disappoint him. i have a choice & i choose to make him stay. im really selfish but what to do. i cant make myself imagine him with other girls. to see him dating other girls kills me. you are so right to say i m selfish. i dont know what am i doing either. why did i ignore him? becos he's irritating? becos im bored of him? becos i dont want him to find other better girls? becos i cant live without him? becos i just wanna use him? becos he understands and knows me too well? becos he's so nice to me? becos i dont know how to show care&concern and shower him with love? or is it becos im just PLAIN selfish?! I DONT KNOW. i wanna die. i wanna cry so badly. i wanna be who i used to be. i cant find myself. am i really that pathetic? im really nt a girlfriend material. i should have just remain single or be a lesbian instead. what should i do?
whenever i recalled what he did for me and all. my heart aches. i wanna give him a hug so much to want him to know how much i appreciated him. he really did soo much that i took advantage of him. i guess. & his friend said he's lyk a maid, just becos she saw him helping me clean my hands. why didnt his friend praise me for washing him up after he fell instead? not that i wanna be praised or cleaned him up to get praised. i just wanna show i do care for him. small little comment from HER hurts me. A LOT. why? i dont know either. it just hurt! but she didnt care abt how others feel each time she commented effortlessly when he did nice things for me.
daniel said he will make me strong? and.. did he? no. never. he just left me. maybe i was childish. maybe i didnt understannd him. maybe i was immature. he said he wants to concentrate on his work and studies. ok, i've to accept it. & jus a few months later. there he's! with his new girlfriend. there goes my heart aching again. no one seems to keep their words. i dont keep my words sometimes too. and so i tried not to give empty promises already. what about you guys? dont know.
desmond seems unfriendly, to ONLY ME. he seems to avoid me whenever he could. i dont know why either. maybe i hurt him too much. maybe he didnt lyk the way i treated him last time. he got along well with my friends. got along well with his other ex girlfriend. he just dont lyk me. he just hates me! but then why did he kiss me when he was already attached in the first place? & ignore me after that. acting like as if we didnt meet that night. no one knows abt this. i kept it so long. how much i wanted to tell my friends abt it, to let them know how i feel. i was confused and really sad over it lahs. but i had to keep it shut! or i will make him sound lyk some jerks. why am i doing that. what good do i gain. that kiss was fake. that night was a dream. everything was a pretend. isnt it? i deserve it? perhaps. i think i had a problem. if only i knew what's wrong with me. he'd somehow blacklisted me. don even wanna contact me or meet up with me anymore. i'd tried and tried and failed.. most probably my friends're laughing behind my back for whatever reasons.
everyone hates me. maybe. maybe not. no one seems to bother. i guess. im really tired. im dying....
hmmmm it's so not me to type all this here. but i just had to. thanks for reading. and im sure it will be erased from your memory soon ..... but never from mine.
im okay. i will be all right. good night.2:58am
❤papayaQueen
KristyHadLeftASweetEntry@ 10:06:00 PM.
